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조회 수 9488 추천 수 1 2011.01.31 13:24:42
시간은 흘러서 이곳 나눔 선교회에 온지도 어느덧 4년이 지나고 있습니다.
생각을 더듬어보다보니 이런 저런 많은 일들이 있었더군요.
다 된것 같은데 다시 시작을 해야되는 경우도 있었고...
좀처럼 되어가지 않는 경우들도 많았던 것 같습니다.

한 목사님께서 항상 시간이 되면 혹은 나이가 되면(40세) 된다고 말씀을 하시는데...
처음에는 그 뜻을 잘 몰랐었는데 이제는 좀 알것 같습니다.
아마도 사람이 철이 든다는 것이 하나님을 알아가는 것이 아닌가 생각해 봅니다.
자신의 본질, 본래 형상을 알아가는 것이겠죠.
그리고 그것을 알았을 때가 바로 자신의 완성이며 그 때가 아닌가 싶습니다.

2008년 달라스에서 저희 나눔 선교회가 처음으로 세미나를 했을 때...
제가 출석을 했던 교회라 그곳에서 간증을 하고 싶었으며 나름 준비도 했었는데 수포로 돌아갔습니다.
그러다가 12/2010 그리고 1/2011 에 전혀 생각치도 않았던 간증의 부탁을 두 군데로부터 받았습니다.
그리고 2008년에는 생각할 수 조차 없었던 것으로 간증을 하게 되었습니다.

저의  생각에는 2008년이 때가 아닌가 생각을 했었습니다.
치유받고 뜨거운 정열과 혈기로 무슨 말인가를 하고 싶었습니다.
나보다 나중에 들어온 몇몇의 나눔 선교회의 inmete들이 벌써 LA에서 간증을 했고...
왜 나는 나의 홈 그라운드인데도 못하는가라는 회의도 생기게 되었습니다.
하지만 시기상조라는 말이 있듯이 무르익는데는 시간이 걸리게 되어있던 것이었으며...
하나님께서는 설익은 떫은 과일보다는 잘 익은 과일을 저와 성도님들에게 주시고 싶으셨던 것이었습니다.

나눔 선교회에 입소하여 있는 많은 inmate들은 나이의 고하를 막론하고 집에서 수 년의 시간동안 부모님들의 속을 썩여왔을 것입니다.
그러다가 나눔 선교회에 입소를 하게되면서 부모님들은 휴~~~ 라는 안도의 한숨소리와 함께 언제 이 자녀가 바뀔것인가에 대하여 관심을 갖게되실 것 입니다.
그동안의 고생을 생각하시면서 오늘 바뀔까 내일 바뀔까 노심초사하시게 되는 것이지요.

"때가차매"라는 말이 성경 여기저기에 있는 것을 보면서 때가 찬다는 것이 무슨 말인지 생각해 보게 됩니다.
분명히 때가차면 이루어진다는 말임에는 틀림이 없는 것같은데...  어느 때이며 누구의 때인가가 관건일 것입니다.
모든 것의 주권은 하나님께 있습니다.    분명한 것은 때가차매 하나님께서 모든 것을 이루어 주실 것이라는 것입니다.

롬 5:3-4 에서는 "다만 이 뿐 아니라 우리가 환난 중에도 즐거워하나니 이는 환난은 인내를 인내는 연단을 연단은 소망을 이루는 줄 앎이로다라고 말하고 있으며... 
다니엘 3:17에서는 다니엘의 세 친구가 말하기를  "왕이여 우리가 섬기는 하나님이 계시다면 우리를 맹열히 타는 풀무불 가운데에서 능히 건져내시겠고 왕의 손에서도 건져내시리라" 라고 말하면서 3:18에서는"그렇게 하지 아니하실지라도... '라고 말하는 것을 봅니다.
아마도 이 믿음, 이 고백이 우리 부모님들의 믿음이요 고백이 되어야 하지 않을까 생각해 봅니다.

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